Are You Crying Even Though You're Healing? It's a Good Sign!

You might be surprised to learn this, but in my healing sessions, my clients often cry.  And I love it when it happens.

Now, before you click away thinking I’m some kind of emotional villain, hear me out!

This blog explores the profound influence of our childhood on crying, the implications of crying too much or too little, and how we can heal by reparenting our inner child to cry.

Healing Tears

When my clients cry, these tears aren’t born from sadness or pain, but from a profound emotional release – a letting go of burdens that have held them back for far too long. It might surprise you to hear a healer say this, but I celebrate their tears.

Why?

Because these tears are a powerful sign of progress, a breakthrough moment on their journey toward healing.

You see, these breakthroughs often stem from healing our relationship with crying,  a relationship shaped by our childhood experiences.

Our experiences with crying in childhood significantly impact our relationship with tears and their expression as adults. Many of us were taught to suppress our tears, especially if we were raised in environments that valued stoicism or viewed crying as a sign of weakness.

These early messages can lead to emotional repression and difficulty in expressing our feelings. So when my clients cry in a session, it’s often a sign of a profound release.

The result?

Deep healing. Clients often report going through a transformative process that empowers them to move beyond past experiences and embrace a more emotionally healthy, joyful and fulfilling future.

Crying as part of the beautiful human experience

Our very first cry isn’t just a dramatic entrance into the world; it’s a life-giving act, filling our tiny lungs with air for the very first time as a baby. So we can live. And from that moment on, crying becomes a constant companion appearing throughout our human journey.

Think of it as an emotional barometer. Grief, change, loss, joy, new beginnings, celebration – maybe it’s the passing of someone you love, the deepest expression of pain after experiencing heavy trauma, a child leaving the nest after 18 years (feeling way too soon). Maybe it’s finally passing your university degree and stepping into your dream career. Maybe it’s tears of joy on your wedding day, the overwhelming rush of emotions at the birth of a child, or simply being around family on your birthday and realizing this is all that truly matters, accompanied by a profound sense of “this is mine.”

Tears as a Gateway to Change

These events, and the emotions that arise from them, bring tears to our eyes, a natural and healthy way to express the very deepest depths of our emotions.

The expression of these tears, and what is behind them; a beautiful emotional release, become a gateway to incredible change. Tears of grief can pave the way for healing and acceptance. Tears of frustration can fuel our determination to create a better future. And tears of joy remind us of the beauty and wonder that life holds.

This is evident in my sessions. I see a client’s tears as a beautiful and raw display of their inner world. In fact, they cry with a smile of their face, saying how they have let go of a burden and much lighter and at ease they feel, not only momentarily but longlasting. It’s a testament to their courage to feel, to process what is going on within them and to embrace the full spectrum of what makes us human.

Life is a tapestry woven with threads of joy and sorrow, love and loss. Crying is not a flaw in this beautiful fabric; it’s an essential thread, a fundamental part of what makes us human. Let’s delve deeper into this powerful form of emotional expression.

Reasons Your Inner Child May Have Cried

Ever wonder why your inner child may be crying? To understand this, let us go back to where it all started: us as children.

Ever wonder why children seem to cry at the drop of a hat? Rest assured, crying is a natural and vital part of childhood, serving a variety of purposes beyond frustration, ranging from basic needs to complex emotional expressions.

Self-Expression

For infants, crying is their primary language. It is their way of communication. They cry to signal hunger, discomfort, pain, or the need for attention and comfort.

As children grow, crying becomes a way to express emotions such as frustration (a dropped toy!), sadness (missing a loved one), fear (loud noises), and even joy (seeing a favourite cartoon character).

Emotional Release

Children often cry as an emotional release. Their developing brains and emotional systems are still learning to manage and process feelings and crying helps them to discharge undefined emotional energy. This is why a child might cry after a long day, an exciting event or a frustrating experience.

Seeking Connection

Crying also serves as a way for children to seek connection and support from caregivers. It is a call for comfort, understanding, and reassurance – essential components for healthy emotional development.

Reasons Your Inner Child May Be Crying

If your inner child experienced something difficult that has caused them to either suppress, deny or block their tears, these feelings may surface in adult life, triggered by a situation that feels similar to the past experience a child might long for self- expression, emotional release or a deep connection.

The Importance Of Balanced Crying In Childhood

Having explored the different ways your inner child may cry, let’s delve into the importance of balanced crying expression

While crying is a natural and healthy expression of emotion, the frequency and context of crying in childhood can have significant implications for emotional development.

Effects of Crying Too Much

When children cry excessively, it can be a sign of underlying issues that needs to be addressed.

Emotional Distress

Excessive crying can indicate that a child is experiencing high levels of emotional distress. This might be due to factors such as anxiety, bullying, family conflict or other stressful situations. Persistent crying is a signal that the child needs additional support and intervention.

Health Issues

In some cases, excessive crying may be linked to physical health problems such as colic in infants, allergies, or other medical conditions. Addressing the root cause is crucial for the well-being of the child.

Effects of Crying Too Little

On the other hand, crying too little can also be concerning, as it may suggest emotional suppression or fear of expressing emotions.

Emotional Suppression

Children who are discouraged from crying or expressing emotions might learn to suppress their feelings. This can lead to emotional numbness, difficulty in recognizing and processing emotions, and issues with emotional regulation later in life.

Fear of Vulnerability

When children are consistently told not to cry, they may develop a fear of vulnerability. They might associate crying with weakness and strive to appear strong and stoic, even when they are hurting inside. This may make it more difficult for them to build genuine, meaningful relationships with other people.

How To Let Go Of Childhood Emotional Pain

As we reach adulthood, we learn other ways to express ourselves and so the crying will lessen. Balanced crying remains a valuable tool for emotional processing as mentioned above.  However, sometimes we may cry excessively (or not cry at all) due to unhealed experiences from our inner child. This can be a sign that it’s time to address past hurts and create a healthier relationship with emotions.

Parenting Responses To The Crying Child

The way parents respond to their children’s crying plays a crucial role in shaping their emotional health and development.

The way our caregivers responded to our childhood cries directly shapes our inner child, the part of us that carries those experiences into adulthood. These early interactions leave lasting imprints on our emotional health and development. By reparenting our inner child, we can begin to heal and create a healthier, happier future for ourselves.

Positive Responses for Crying The Child

Validation and Comfort For the Child

When parents validate their child’s feelings and offer comfort, it teaches the child that their emotions are important and acceptable. This approach fosters emotional intelligence and resilience, as children learn that it is safe to express their feelings and seek support.

Encouraging Emotional Expression For the Child

Encouraging children to talk about their feelings and cry when they need to helps them develop healthy emotional coping mechanisms. Parents can model this behaviour by being open about their own emotions and showing that it is okay to cry.

Negative Responses For The Crying Child

Dismissal or Minimization For The Child

When parents dismiss or minimize their child’s crying, it sends the message that their feelings are unimportant or exaggerated. This can lead to emotional suppression and a lack of trust in their own emotional experiences.

Punishment or Shaming The Child

Punishing or shaming a child for crying can have severe negative effects. It can instil a deep-seated fear of expressing emotions and lead to issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

Learning to Reparent Yourself 

To heal our relationship with crying, we must reparent ourself and our inner child. Reparenting yourself involves acknowledging and validating our childhood experiences and giving ourselves permission to feel and express our emotions fully. By doing so, we can create a safe space for our inner child to cry and heal, fostering greater emotional freedom and resilience.

Steps to Reparenting the Inner Child

Acknowledge Past Experiences

The first step in reparenting the inner child is to acknowledge and reflect on past experiences related to crying. This involves recognizing the messages we received about crying and how they have shaped our current emotional responses.

Validate Your Feelings

Next, it is essential to validate your feelings. Understand that it is okay to cry and that your emotions are valid. Permitting yourself to experience and express your feelings without guilt is a good thing.

Create a Safe Space

Creating a safe space for your inner child means fostering an environment where you can cry and express emotions freely. This might involve journaling, speaking with a trusted friend or healer, or simply allowing yourself to cry when you need to.

Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a child. Be kind to yourself and recognize that healing takes time and patience.

Empowerment Through Vulnerability

Embracing our inner child also means recognizing the strength in vulnerability. Crying is not a sign of weakness, but rather a courageous act of self-expression and emotional honesty. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and cry, we empower ourselves to live more authentically and connect more deeply with others.

Embracing Empowerment in Crying

Emotional Honesty

Crying is a form of emotional honesty. It is a way of being true to ourselves and acknowledging our feelings. By embracing our healing tears, we show that we are not afraid to confront and express our emotions.

Building Connection

When we allow ourselves to cry in front of others, it can foster deeper connections. Vulnerability invites empathy and understanding, strengthening our relationships and creating a sense of shared humanity.

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Repression To Unlock Emotional Freedom

By addressing our childhood experiences with crying, we can break the cycle of emotional repression and create a healthier emotional landscape for ourselves and future generations. Teaching children that it is okay to cry and express their feelings openly can lead to a more emotionally intelligent and resilient  adults and therefore society.

The Power of Letting  Our Inner Child Cry

Crying is a powerful and transformative process, a foundation of a being human.

As we acknowledge and validate our childhood experiences with crying, we pave the way for healing and growth. By reparenting our inner child and creating a safe space for emotional expression, we empower ourselves to break free from the constraints of emotional repression and live more authentically.

Tears are not a sign of weakness but a testament to our humanity and our capacity for deep feeling and connection. Let us celebrate and honour our tears, allowing them to guide us on our journey toward healing and wholeness. In doing so, we can create a more emotionally intelligent and resilient society, where the inner child in all of us can thrive.

By embracing the healing power of tears and reconnecting with our inner child, we can foster greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and spiritual connection.